Knights Requiem



I write this now in wonder at time spent. I lost my final charge this day, and I’ve spent many hours thinking over where I go from here. In my time I have taken on many charges and attempted to teach them all of the best points of character, honour, valour, respect, and to value the few good things in life: good friends and good times.

But I was a fool to think I had a right to teach anyone. I had not the years or experience on anyone I’ve taught as I am not even of middle years myself. I’ve fought no great battles and achieved no honour for myself. So what right had I to preach to others what I could not achieve myself over the years?

My charges have slowly abandoned or surpassed me. In the beginning it was only small things I ignored. After a fashion things changed: my earliest students set off to find their own path in the grand scheme of things and I was pleased for them. It turned worse, and with the betrayal of two of my top students I lost faith in myself. But I carried on, throwing myself into every available pursuit martial or otherwise. I took myself a lover, who also betrayed me in the end, and my life nose-dived, and when I did pull myself up again, I took upon myself a final charge one final attempt to prove that I could contribute to this world.

One I had looked after many years before as a child, now a woman, strong of spirit and strong of mind and will. She took my tutelage as an insult and rebuked my attempts to help, but in her times of crisis she still came to me and in my heart I loved her. And I did as she willed. But now on the eve of my intention of my declaring my love for her she broke me down, told me she had another who loved her and could protect her better than I, and in no uncertain terms, I was no longer required.

I despaired, and in my despair I found questions hanging in my mind, philosophical: introspective and life changing questions boiled to the surface.

What happens to the knights when there are no charges left? No damsels to save and protect, no dragons to slay or evil to vanquish what happens then?

Is it worse to share love and lose it, or to feel it for someone and know that they will never return it?

And where now do I go from here?

So I have steadied myself and rallied my strength, I have collected my sword and shield, donned my armour and made my decision. I am to walk into the darkness, for the first time I shall stand alone, and I will walk in to the long night to seek the answers to my questions. I have no knowledge of what I will find, either in life or death, perhaps the great beyond will answer all the questions life has left me, but my time is short. I will take my shining armour, my mighty steed and my lifetime of experience into the void, but then the ultimate question hangs over me. That the long night will never answer.

Will anyone miss this errand fool when he is gone?